Ohhhhhh, Great. I’m Going to be the Stinky Person on the Plane.
I’m pretty sure I’m not alone on this thought, but I fear being next to the stinky person on a 13+ hour plane ride, or even an hour plane ride for that matter. Once, I sat next to a man who expelled gas all the way from London to Los Angeles, and I had the privilege of marinating in his fecal crumbs the entire journey since I was in the middle seat. Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure this is why I now insist on having an aisle seat…
Anyway, I’ve been searching for a pair of black boots suitable for walking; seeing as I am leaving for Ireland, and it rains a lot, I wanted boots and all the boots I own have heels; I’m definitely not looking at taking on cobblestone streets in heels after a few Guinness beers…
So I finally found a pair that I liked online. I expedited the shipping overnight (I’m a huge procrastinator. I’ve known about my trip for a few weeks, yet I waited two days before leaving to get what I needed), and when they arrived last night, I immediately noticed the smell…. they
smell stink like bacon.
Now, I love bacon; bacon is my absolute favorite food to eat. But when my shoes smell like bacon, I must draw the line somewhere.
Frustrated and angry that I waited for the last-minute and now worried that I won’t have boots, I threw them on the floor next to my bed and went to sleep. When I woke up this morning, my entire house STUNK like bacon, and I was the owner of a RAGING liquid-smoke induced headache. Frightened that the drug-sniffing dogs at LAX are going to viciously attack me when I walk through the security line due to the excruciating scent of smoked meat, I plopped the boots hopelessly in the backyard to air out for the day. After hours of fresh air, and my dogs attempting to eat them, I brought them inside my room and sadly stared at them.
My sister, not knowing anything about the boots, walked by and asked “why the hell does it smell like a BBQ in here???”…. Her question immediately gave me an idea… FEBREEZE THOSE BABIES!!! Sadly, half a can of the freshener which promises to block any odor has yet to dull the smokey scent, although it does have a slight vanilla undertone to the smokiness now.
Considering I leave tomorrow afternoon, and I have no other black boots, I will just wear the damn things in hopes that at some point I stop smelling like a breakfast skillet. I’m sure after a few days (fingers crossed) I should be golden. And I apologize ahead of time to whoever is seated in seat B26, as well as anyone I walk past during trips to the lavatory.
Perhaps if I wore this on the plane with my boots it would be more acceptable to exude a bacon scent
Jen glad you made it there safe the fish and chips look great bring me some home dont drink to much and have a wonderful time love you dad
To be fair, they could smell of worse things… bacon’s not so awful int he grand scheme of things.
I hope you weren’t sat next to a vegetarian though! Haha.
I was wedged between two large German men who spoke no English, yet they conversed between themselves the entire flight. I’m sure they were discussing the stench!
MADE ME LAUGH ALL THRU THE DAY, YOU WILL HAVE ALL THE NEIGHBOR PETS FOLLOWING YOU, HOPING FOR A TREAT. BACON BACON BACON
Before leaving I sprayed the shit out of them with Chanel perfume. Now, I smell like chic bacon.
Great post, hope thwy are un-stinking now…anyway, we eat a lot of bacon in Ireland, so you may not be noticed!
Awesome! I’ll fit right in! (And they still smell! My flight has been delayed a few hours, so I’m hoping it’s some type of divine intervention helping me un-stench my boots!)
I’m glad my shoes O’ bacon made your day… I’m sure my plane neighbor won’t agree…
Thanks for my laugh of the morning! Have a great time in Ireland ~ wishing you sunny days (or at least no rain).